I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
