walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
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