Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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