so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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