did you get engaged???
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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