The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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