We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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