You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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