ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Randomize
