you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
