are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
