Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
