Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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