you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
