if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
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