Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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