I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
