I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
