shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Randomize
