So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
