More tranny stories later!
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
