I wish I could teleport
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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