k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
