She's JV to your varsity
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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