Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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