This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
