I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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