I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
