the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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