Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
