just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize
