I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
