I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
