Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
