I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
