Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I party with great urgency now.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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