don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Randomize
