wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
