oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
