Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
