Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
