he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
