My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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