After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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