Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
