Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
