Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
