that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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