I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
