The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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