I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
