i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Randomize
