Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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