Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
