But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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