why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
