bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
