I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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